Posts Tagged ‘therapy’

When Bee-Girl got her room back.

June 13, 2019

You guys remember How Stella Got her Groove Back? That movie was a Moment for me. I was in junior high and seeing women empowered like that, encouraged to feel their feelings and act on them, to be who they really were and get other people to really see them – that was formulative. Discovering Terry McMillan right after that further fueled those feelings, and that Moment that my girlfriends and I had then turned into a Movement. It changed how we saw and interacted with the world.

Now I want you to tuck that bit of insight away, but not too far away.

Bee-girl is having a moment. She’s moving on up from Bee-Tween to a marvelous, majestic, empowered teen. [One who seems to be resisting a nickname, but that’s another story.] You know how she is.

She’s been planning and scheming her room renovation for more than two years. It was a fun distraction at first – measuring the room, picking out what kind of furniture she’d want, blackout curtains, colors, and whatnot.

Then her room became something more. Gracie got a room “renovation” a few years ago because she moved out of the girls’ shared room and we needed to actually build her a room in the former guest/craft room. [Great googly-moogly – I love our set-up now, but gawd I miss that space!] Two Christmases ago, two pivotal things happened that twisted Bee into knots. One: the new bed. Auntie Kim bought a new bed for that room because she visited a lot and that was her bed when she was here. (Gracie got bumped into the spare bed in Bee’s room.) Auntie Kim paid for the bed frame, which Gracie picked out with only a few vetoes; I paid for the super-awesome memory foam mattress that I kind of wanted to steal. Heh. The bed was one thing; the other was the new paint. Gracie had been begging to paint her room a different color, now that the room was hers. So Auntie Kim gave her a gallon of paint for Christmas. The accent wall is now peacock blue, and it’s lovely!

But it was also super-problematic.

Those two purchases made it seem like Gracie got a second room renovation. Bee hated her room – she felt it didn’t represent her style, her personality, everything was hand-me-down. She felt less-than. Two renovations less-than, in fact. And because sometimes life is difficult, and sometimes those twists and turns happen at the worst possible time, Bee didn’t get her promised room renovation for quite a while. I promised her $500 for her budget – the problem was finding time when we could afford that bit of luxury.

Finally, about a month ago, I finally saved enough to turn all of Bee’s schemes and Pinterest pins and mad-hattery ideas into motion. The sparkle on her face when I said Yes was one of Those Moments that you stockpile as a parent. A moment you’ll call up in the hard times to shore up your spirits. A moment when you and your daughter sincerely understand each other’s point-of-view. God bless therapy. And patience.

And, of course, IKEA.

I have so many pictures and stories to show you! The desk. The mirror. A rug. Curtains. A new drill and drywall patching kit to make curtains possible! Heh. An interesting wardrobe solution. More allen wrenches than this world really needs. And the bed. Oh heavens and stars, Bee has been searching the world over for the loft bed she had created in her mind. Thank you jeebus she found it! I just had to make it fit in her tiny, tiny room of dreams.

It’s glorious!

But this part is really my favorite part. This story about why Bee’s new bedroom was so meaningful. How she had transferred a lot of feelings into this idea, but then how she used her power to communicate that to me, and worked with me to make it happen. I’m really proud of Bee for doing that! Almost-13-year-olds rock pretty ducking hard, I’ll tell you what.

Bee-tween got her groove back. Just wait til you see!

Bee-tween

Six for Saturday.

February 9, 2019

Good morning, fellow pirates! Err, okay, no, we’re not pirates. But I woke up this morning feeling pretty frisky, so let’s just pretend, m’kay? So, since I didn’t get a chance to post yesterday, it was itching at the back of my brain and I decided the best way to scratch that itch was to just go ahead and post this morning! And, well, you had to make the cadence match. So six it is! Let’s get started.

1. I am writing to you from my nice (well, okay not so clean and nice, it’s kinda messy), new (well, no, not so new, it’s 17 years old), home (…yes, it is home) with HEAT!! We have HEAT!! That’s the important distinction! The third shot worked, and once my friend’s friend was able to rummage through the attic and call tech support during working hours? SHABAM! We have a working furnace, mateys! Let me you – after waking up to a house that’s at 62° each morning for two months, waking up to 68° for two days straight – it’s straight up luxurious!!! Wooo baby!!

2. Today is Saturday. Saturday, you guys. It’s my one. guaranteed. day. I can sleep in each week. Even when I have the girls (like I do this weekend, thank ya Lord), I can sleep in Saturday, and Sunday morning I have to wake them up and get them ready for Church with their grandma, etc. etc. On weekends when I don’t have the girls, I can sleep in both days, but what I’m sayin’ is Saturdays are GOLDEN. And guess who woke right up at 7:15 a.m. this morning and popped right outta bed? >ThisGirl.<  So what if I did wake up with the reading lamp on, glasses still on, the extra pillow wedged under my head, no nightguard, neck stiff, drool dried all down my chin. I musta slept hard. No wonder I was rearin’ to go! I love it…I just know that Monday morning I’m going to cry tears that I didn’t sleep in this weekend.

3. I do this thing from time to time where I clip out sayings or pictures from magazines that catch my eye. In high school I used to tape them to my walls, those old faux paneling that was so popular in the 70s. Everyone else had it in their basement rec rooms. We had it iQuotesn our upstairs bedrooms. Tacky, yes. Which is why I covered it from hip-high to the ceiling with these magazine clippings. On every wall I had. And then I started on the ceiling. I’d cover a piece of posterboard, and when the posterboard was filled, I’d tape it to the ceiling. I wish I had pictures of it! Now I do a smaller scale version of it: I fill a 12×12 square of paper with it, and then I frame it. I used to have three of them framed and hung in my craft room, but they were replaced by scrapbook pages, and then Gracie took over the room. Now I’m doing it for therapy. And I can’t wait to see how it comes outs… and what everyone there thinks of it!

4. One thing I’ve been given for homework, and that I’ve continued with because it works so well, is to write a Gratitude List each night. It’s three things each night that I’m thankful for. So like on Monday I was grateful for our sixth Superbowl win (!!!!!!), that my therapist was understanding about me having to miss my appointment for the second week in a row in order to take Gracie to get flu-checked, and that Bee’s game upgrade finally worked. I also have to write down one “wrong” thing I did – I have to practice being imperfect so I can see it’s okay. And in order to do that I need to do one thing wrong on purpose. I call it writing down my Wonky Thing. Like drinking Coke in front of your therapist (who prescribed the assignment) in her beverage-free zone. See? You can have a lot of fun!

Blanket_MotherGoose_20185. Bee and I had a big sale at BeeCrafty this week: we sold our Mother Goose baby quilt! It’s my favorite quilt, and one of the most difficult to sew. I was afraid the blankets wouldn’t sell at that price point, but it’s what others are selling them for, so I stuck to it. My goodness! It’s so special to think that another little baby is going to be crawling around on the blanket that you stitched yourself. My heart is just bursting! Go look at my other blankets (and Bee’s slimes!) at BeeCraftsShop!

6. My graduation from therapy is still a couple of weeks a way, but I bought my graduation mug! I was looking for one on Etsy (you gotta support your fellow crazies!) and wasn’t sure of how long the shipping and handling would take. Sometimes you get your gifts right away, sometimes it takes quite a while. I found this wicked cool site, A Fine Quotation, and I almost spent all my monies there! And I’ve got mine in my hands now, so I feel much less anxious! I can stop eyeing the back-up mugs at Target, I suppose. You know me and mugs! It’s a habit almost as “bad” as books!

So that’s this week! Ohhhhh that feels much better to have that done! Now I can actually go relax with a mug of coffee and a good book. Have a great weekend!

A tiny, touchy subject.

January 24, 2019

I was getting ready in the bathroom the other night, doing my hair (there’s a half hour right there, taming the massive beast on top my head), putting on a tiny splash of make-up, when I noticed this little guy…

ladybug

Do you see him? Tiny little fella. Bit dusty, too. But I don’t make fun of wee little guests in my house, uh uh. I let the wee fella go, outside. Opened the door and shooed him out. Maybe I should have let him out the front door so he could take up residency in the fairy gardens if were so inclined. Alas.

I got back to getting pretti-fied and all of a sudden….I feel a tickle along the back of my hand. THis guy:

ladybug2

I promise this little buddy is different! See? The two markings closest to his wee little head are strong dots on the first ladybug, and faded on the send. Ipso Ergo Factum! TWO ladybugs! I carefully checked for an infestation, but these were the only two ladybugs I was lucky enough to find.

And there’s the million dollar word, ladies, gents and everyone in-between and beyond – ladybugs are harbingers of lucky, are they not? I thought, Wouldn’t it be nice if there were three ladybugs so that there could be one for Gracie, one for Bee, and one for me? I scoured the entire bathroom, but couldn’t find another one. Well, that’s okay then, I thought. One can be for Bee-girl, and one for Gracie-guts.

But here’s the thing: why can’t they just both be for me? Aren’t I worthy? It’s something I’ve been working on lately (at the direction of professionals, you guys, don’t worry) on the idea of being worthy and that just being enough. I mean, did you see that? I couldn’t even talk about the idea of worthiness without cracking a joke about it. I am worthy.

I AM WORTHY.

I am worthy of two ladybugs. I am worthy of two ladybugs-worth of luck. Especially if one is dusty! Ha!

When big awful things happen to you, you forget that you are worthy. And then when you forget that hard, it’s hard to start small. Even as small as two ladybugs’ worth, it seems. So I’m just  gonna practice.

I AM WORTHY!

(And gosh those little ladybugs are cute!!)

Still, no words.

January 19, 2015

Because one year is a stupidlong time.

An incomprehensible phrase.

I’m smothered. Wordless.

Nothing but grief, because I familied all wrong.

Hmm. Suddently, things are looking much better.

August 31, 2012

You guys. YOU GUYS. Look at what the girls’ step-mom texted me:

Cadbury Creme Screme Eggs. In real life. Oh what blessed good news for this Friday!! I quizzed my fellow addict down before I got too excited. What was inside of them? Were they real? Or marshmallow or chocolate or some other kind of imposter filling. Nope, A. said, other than the fact that creme was dyed green, they were apparently real. Now we’re on a mission to track. them. down. She’s scouring Walgreens, I’m hitting up Target.

I’ll try not to knock over any toddlers as I run towards the display.

And on Sunday, because they were driving me crazy…

October 26, 2011

…we went to the park. It was a beautiful October day, the kind we won’t have much more of, and I thought letting them burn off some energy for an hour – completely and totally away from meeeeee – would probably be best for all of us.


I’m pretty sure I made the right choice.

(P.S. – It turns out pushing shrieking, giggling girls on the tire swing is pretty dang therapeutic.)

A music music revelation.

February 18, 2009

My friend Kathy gave me some great advice yesterday: “Take a deep breath and let it out. Good!” She’s right. I need to relax. To breathe. To calm the heck down.

I don’t think I mentioned yesterday that when I stopped in at the doctor’s, my blood pressure was 140/80. That might not be astronomical, but it’s considerably higher than my usual, which is closer to 101/67. I am normally a cool cat, you guys. (Although apparently not so hip that I avoid saying things like “cool cat.”) I’ve been stressed about everything going on during the past six weeks. And this interstitial cystitis that I might have is complicated by stress. Like Kathy said, I need to breathe in <pause> and out. In…and out.

As I was driving home last night, I was thinking about how exactly I should go about this. I don’t have a lot of control over the things I’m stressing over, so just forgetting about my stressors is sort of out of the question. Giving myself a massage isn’t quite as satisfying as just lying there and letting go as I’m being pampered by someone else. Filling up on lattes…well, that would exacerbate my medical condition and pain is Up There on things to avoid. Hmmm… what other kinds of therapy could I make work? Therapy…wait a second. (more…)