Lookin’ for fun and feelin’ groovy…

Aside from my Mother’s Day fiasco (which Gracie and I have discussed and settled, thank you baby jeebus) – oh!, and the world almost ending with the chaos in the White House (c’mon impeachment!) – aside from all of that, I have to say I am feeling more myself these days. I’m enjoying it while I can, and building a good, solid base, just in case that pocket of “okay-ness” pops and strands me here. As long as I like where “here” is, it’s okay. I know I’ll get movin’ again soon. That’s my outlook these days.

It’s a good one.

It means I’m reading more new books, not just re-reads. I tore through the Daughter of Smoke & Bone series, last night I read short book on writing, and also read through a book of Emily Dickinson’s poems because I was feeling nostalgic. (Okay, technically the poems are re-reading!) I have my eye on a few more new books that I might dive into today, depending which the library has on hand. Oh! And I read Shonda’s book about just saying yes. Ironically. So my reading is all good.

I even sat down and wrote a few pages for my book. I know! I’ve read and re-read what I already have, but last night I actually added a few pages. And that’s not the first night lately when that’s happened.

Even the TV is pulling me in – you know things are either really bad or really good when I feel the pull of the couch and TV. Except I’m not just re-watching Bones and Grey’s and Downton ad nauseum. I went back to my “100 Greatest Movies of All Time” list and I’m trying to tick off the one’s I’ve missed (which is nearly all of them). I watched an episode of 13 Reasons Why with the girls the other night, and last night I watched two (three?) more episodes (while furiously reading tweets and breaking news about the current administration falling apart; I was almost afraid of what I’d miss if I stopped watching!). I have Victoria to watch with my Bee-girl. All of the shows again! Okay, maybe not all the shows – the very idea makes me anxious. But some. Some are starting to call to me.

Re-Emerging Katie isn’t perfect. I’m still not me-me. I had to back out of meeting friends for drinks because of a conflict with a school thing and I jumped at it because socially-anxious Katie was mad “normal”Katie tried to make plans. So I know I’m still me, and I still have a lot of work to do on that. But at least I know I’m in there alive and kicking and doing not-so-bad if I want to all of those things.

I’ll be okay. Just please, please, please don’t take that as a challenge, dear Universe.


One Response to “Lookin’ for fun and feelin’ groovy…”

  1. Kathy Says:

    I am so right there with you. Trying to make sure I continue to find me and care for me while balancing kids learning to drive, graduation planning, life and general and all that the last few weeks of school brings. I don’t want the bubble to pop. I am finally feeling me again (mostly). We can do this – we just have to remember to be kind to ourselves.

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