Back to life, back to reality.

Yesterday was A Day at our house. Back to school for Gracie-girl. Back to work for me. Bee-girl and Auntie Kim…went to back-to-back movies because not so much back to reality for them. (Sometimes being in different school districts means different winter breaks, which worked out because one-on-one time with Auntie Kim.)

Because it was going to be A Day, I thought last night would end with both Gracie and I carrying around heads filled with brains that rather resembled bowls of mashed potatoes.

That was true for one of us.

I had something like 10,000* emails, and I got through a leetle more than half of them. I handled a gabillion “Great! You’re back! I really need x, y, z!” requests, and covered my turn in the rotation for another certain project. I couldn’t remember my name by the end of the day; I was too tired to even be grumpy. Exhausted, yes. Grumpy? I hope not.

Gracie,  on the other hand, she who would not – could not – get out of bed before 10 a.m. the entirety of break, she was almost chipper about returning to school. Because the new reality she’s getting back to has a boyfriend. Oh yes, you read that right – a. boy. friend.

I’m not really sure how I feel about this.

I knew my babies would grow up one day. I hoped that grown-up thems would have loves who would adore and worship them right back. You want to be loved in this world. It’s one of the brightest, happiest, important-est things. But having an abstract hope for your children is so much different than the present, in-the-moment worrying that gnaws at you constantly when you’re living those moments in the right here and now.

My 7th grader has a boyfriend. One with a real name instead of a code name; one she’s gone out with on a group date (chaperoned by parents) to Six Flags; one she actually talks to and gushes over (so much as Gracie gushes). I’m excited for her! And happy for her and her self-confidence! And thinking how much better this could be for her versus how it went for Seventh-Grade Katie. (Yeah, a comparison that promises nothing but good and healthy things. I know. I KNOW.)

It’s just…I feel so old right now. I’m old enough to have a daughter who’s dating. Okay, yes, it’s true that Gracie responded with “Ew! No!” when I asked if she had kissed him, and an equally indignant “No!” when I asked if they had held hands. So “dating” is still an age-appropriate idea, if not expression.

It’s adorable. It’s cute. It’s not all about me. My daughter has a boyfriend. I’m just…still unpacking my feelings and reactions to this new reality. Something that might be easier when my brains aren’t mashed potatoes.


*Sadly, only a slight exaggeration.


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2 Responses to “Back to life, back to reality.”

  1. Kathy Says:

    Nope. Nope. Nope. No boyfriends. I can’t stand it. Even my baby doesn’t have a boyfriend. And I am ok with that.

    Welcome back to reality. What movies did Bee and Auntie Kim go see?

  2. Kim Says:

    We went to see Sing and Fantastic Beasts – both really good! I was pleasantly surprised to find that Sing had way more (and better) plot than expected. You were really pulling for each and every one of the competing amateur singers! And Fantastic Beasts, while it certainly had its faults, felt like a delightful return to the Wizarding World. The translation to America was clever and charming.

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