My heart might calm down by lunchtime.

I had nightmares last night. I have nightmares almost every night, but, specifically, last night they were about someone breaking in and hurting the girls. Bad, bad nightmares. I tried to shake them off, but hello – have you met my imagination?

It didn’t help that at 3 or 4 a.m., I woke up (from another nightmare), got up to pee, and noticed a weak light was on in the living room. I thought someone had broken in to our house, and so I turned to Jeff in a panic to tell him and realized that Jeff was up. He was the one who turned on the light in the living room.

I fell back asleep, and everything seemed to return to normal. Until my phone rang this morning. No one really calls me at 6:45 a.m., but I checked the phone in case it was a friend who sometimes calls while I’m driving to work. It said “No caller ID” on the front of the phone. Way too early for telemarketers. I grabbed the phone, silenced the ringer and tucked it in my purse. It immediately started ringing again. “No caller ID.” This time I answered it. If they kept calling, it could have been a hospital or police officer. Answering the phone is something you just do when it keeps ringing and your children are somewhere else. You worry about them. Always.

I heard screaming and sobbing.

My heart kicked into overdrive.

No one answered my hellos. I could hear another person yelling in the background and maybe a dog barking? Two dogs? No one answered. I hung up, but I was shaken.

My phone rang again.

Again, the sobbing and yelling. And dogs barking. Was it the girls? Had someone broken into their dad’s house? Were they being attacked? Was someone with them and calling me to come get them? A cop’s phone would show “No caller ID.” Jeff was standing next to me when all this happened and could apparently hear some of what was going on. “Is someone screaming or are they having sex?” he asked. Now I wasn’t sure. I handed the phone to him. “I’m going to call the Ex,” I said. “He’ll be up for work. I want to make sure everything’s okay over there.” Yeah, it was early, and no, I didn’t have anything to really base my fears on, but he would understand. I would understand if he called.

I hung up the phone and waited to see if anyone would call back. A small idea that it might be a prank had tickled the back of my brain. Bee’s friends think that my phone is actually Bee’s cell phone. No matter how many times we remind them, they call thinking it’s Bee. But would a ten-year-old call and play sex clips?! If it was Gracie’s friends who confused the phones, I’d have no trouble believing it. I would have thought that was hilarious when I was in junior high. (I also think they’d be mortified once they learned I was the one who answered.) Then there was the stalker I had four or five years ago. Surely he’s forgotten about me by now? But I couldn’t completely ignore the fear that ignited in the back of my brain when I thought of him. Or it could have been a doctor who had called to check up on me and had my number in his phone – his cell phone, with the number blocked – actually sexing up his girlfriend or boyfriend and accidentally calling me.

I knew none of these ridiculous scenarios were more likely than the others. The prank call was probably more likely than the one where anyone was trying to scare the bejeezus out of me. I didn’t call or text the Ex to reassure myself that everyone was in one piece. Probably it’s a prank.

I’m just going to sit over here and remind myself of that until my heart rate returns to normal.

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2 Responses to “My heart might calm down by lunchtime.”

  1. Kathy Says:

    Arrrrggghhh!!! My heart is pounding just reading this. I know exactly how I would feel (the same) and I know it would take until I talked to the Ex or the kids before I was really comfortable. Hugs! What an icky way to start the day. 😦

  2. Trish Says:

    What the what the what?!?! Trying to whip the look of shock off my face. LOL! I don’t blame your racing heart.

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