So I had kind of a crazy weekend. I moved in with a boy. I know, right?! It’s still equal parts What are you doing, Kate Marie?! and Oh for the love of…it feels right and it’s FINE and if it’s not, you split ways and get over it like you’ve done before. Really, I’m yelling at myself either way.
It was time. I’m ready for this next step in our relationship. It still feels rather fast: we only started dating in January, after all. And the target date was a year – we’re off the mark by three months. But it just feels right. Jeff hasn’t spent a night at “his house” in months, and running two households, unnecessarily, was starting to look ridiculous. And while the idea of being able to kick him back to his house has been tempting during a fight or two, I never actually did it. We were able to resolve those fights like actual grown-ups. And so it was time. And also so that meant a crazy weekend for us!
The weekend went much, much better than I thought. We spent Saturday morning running necessary errands – boring stuff like changing checking accounts, hitting the library (not actually boring), and crossfitting. Then came the assembling of the new beds. Oh, because did I mention that we decided to put the Xman and Bee in one room, and Gracie in the guest room? It was a tough decision: if we put the Xman in the other room, the girls would still be sharing (necessary to learning important life skills about having roommates, in my mind), and he would feel like he had his own space. Also, the rest of the time, during the week, that room would be available to grown-ups looking for private desk space to work, and a spare bed for the snorers. But, if we put the Xman and Bee in the same room, the girls would have their own space during the week and I wouldn’t have to re-home all of my scrapbook stuff that the Xman absolutely would not be able to not touch. Not having any other storage for the scrap stuff made it an easy decision! And so, rather than have bunk beds, we opted for fancy-not-fancy wooden frames with slats that would accommodate the mattresses we already had. Not having head or footboards meant we could “L” the beds in the corner and they would just fit. And that’s just how they worked out…except they didn’t fit.
This is where I brag about Bee for a minute. The first time we realized the beds didn’t fit by a single inch, I nearly wanted to cry. We tried hoisting the beds up on the baseboards and deciding if we could get risers for both beds. (I thought that was reasonable, Jeff was staunchly positioned in the ultra-conservative That’s Not Safe camp.) Then we tried L-ing the beds with the longer side on the longer wall, which mean the closet door couldn’t open all the way. That was when I very nearly had a breakdown. Bee tried to offer a suggestion about the closet, but I told her we were figuring out the beds. “I know, me too,” she said. So I asked. And she dazzled me. “We could take the closet door off and put material up,” she said. I told you she’s Kim’s mini-me. That and all that HGTV has paid off! That was the plan. Then Jeff was able to squish the beds enough to get that last inch of clearance we needed, but Bee’s idea is still in the back of my mind, just in cases.
After the bed crisis, we spent the rest of the day getting dressers swapped and moved around. Gracie’s room is still an utter disaster. We went out and bought the Xman pajamas because the ones he’s being sent with are two sizes too small, and underwear because he wasn’t given enough. And there was still the refereeing of the kiddos and a birthday dinner to go to.
Sunday and Monday were more of the same, except instead of building beds, we spent the daytime hours sorting through furniture and stuff at Jeff’s house. We sold his bedroom set, his kitchen table, and the girls’ bunkbeds. We made two trips to the shelter with housegoods to donate. We threw out I don’t know how many bags of trash. And we brought back more things than can ever fit comfortably in Casa de Katie.
We only got through the kitchen, Jeff’s room, most of the living room and most of the Xman’s. We still have the bathrooms, the Xman’s stuffed animals (which will all be donated, if I have anything to do with it), and the office, which will likely kill me. When all of that is done, we’ll see what size Pod or storage unit we need. Then we can find a renter. It’s all soooo much to think about. This merging of households thing in a bit of beatdown. But we got through it without once wanting to kill each other! That’s probably a good sign.
Even when Jeff’s Ex and her boyfriend came over to pick up Xander from my house for the first time and so I had to spend hours cleaning. Just how I wanted to close out my weekend!
Oh well. At least Bee and the Xman’s room is ready to show off:
It might not look as glam as it did before, but it’s functional for the next year. We’ll find our way and make things work in the next year. And if things don’t work, well, we’ll just find another way to do them. Our little family is ready. We’re learning how to be part of a bigger family again. It won’t all be easy, but if we work as hard as we did this weekend, we might have a fighting chance to come out much happier and braver for living changerously.