Princess Bride Legos: The Battle of Wits Has Begun.

Because all of us might be feeling a little bit of ohmygoshisthefirstweekofschoolevergoingtoend already, I bring you: another installment of Princess Bride Legos! Courtesy of the Mad Madam Mim Kim, of course.

Today, we join The Man in Black in his Battle of Wits with Vizzini. Does he dare match wits with the mad Sicilian when death is on the line? Inconceivable!

PB13<Cue jaunty theme music>

PB14

“So – it is down to you, and it is down to me.”

PB12If you wish her dead, by all means – keep moving forward.”
“Let me explain.”
“There’s nothing to explain. You are trying to kidnap what I have rightfully stolen.”

PB15Perhaps an arrangement can be reached?”
“There will be no arrangement…and you’re killing her.”

“Let me put it this way: Have you ever heard of Plato? Aristotle? Socrates?”
“Yes.”
“Morons.”
“Really? In that case, I challenge you to a battle of wits.”
“For the Princess?”
The Man in Black nods.
“To the death!?”
The Man in Black nods.
“I accept!”

PB16Good. Then pour the wine.

PB17Inhale this – but do not touch.”
“I smell nothing.”
“What you do not smell is called Iocaine powder.

PB18“All right. Where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink, and find out who is right… and who is dead.”
“But it’s so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you: are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own goblet or his enemy’s? Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.”
“You’ve made your decision then?”
“Not remotely. Because iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows, and Australia is entirely peopled with criminals, and criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.”
“Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.”
“Wait till I get going! Now, where was I?”
“Australia.”
“Yes, Australia. And you must have suspected I would have known the powder’s origin, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.”
“You’re just stalling now.”
“You’d like to think that, wouldn’t you? You’ve beaten my giant, which means you’re exceptionally strong, so you could’ve put the poison in your own goblet, trusting on your strength to save you, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But, you’ve also bested my Spaniard, which means you must have studied, and in studying you must have learned that man is mortal, so you would have put the poison as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.”
“You’re trying to trick me into giving away something. It won’t work.”
“IT HAS WORKED! YOU’VE GIVEN EVERYTHING AWAY! I KNOW WHERE THE POISON IS!”
“Then make your choice.”
I will, and I choose – What in the world can that be?”

PB19
“You guessed wrong.”
“You only think I guessed wrong! That’s what’s so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders – The most famous of which is “never get involved in a land war in Asia” – but only slightly less well-known is this: “Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line”! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha…
….”

PB20

“….”

PB21And to think, all that time it was your cup that was poisoned.”
“They were both poisoned. I spent the last few years building up an immunity to iocane powder.

Annnnnnnd end scene! The Man in Black goes off, not to be trifled with, and Prince Humperdink shows up on the tops of the Cliffs of Insanity where we learn Inigo has survived and run off. And if that little bit of fun doesn’t make you want to cue up the rest of the movie, well then God, Jed, I don’t even want to know you.

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