Someone’s feeling a little more comfortable.

There certain things I expected when I decided that yes, I had lost my mind, and yes, we were adopting a border collie. A border collie puppy, essentially. One, she was going to be a bit hyper. Border collies are known as high-energy breeds who require a goodish deal of mental stimulation, or else they’re going to be bored. And when border collies get bored, most of tend to get a bit destructive. So I was also expecting a bit of destruction: chewing, digging, whining… I wouldn’t have been surprised if Fen was a bit high-strung, because hell, the rest of us are, so why not? [Okay, no, not always. Just this morning. But I’m writing this, so shoosh.]

Fen surprised me. She happily accepted the constant attention from the girls, and the training Gracie and Bee changed up from night to night. (“No be a circus dog, no be a seeing eye dog, no be a detective dog, no play hide and seek!”) She loved going on runs and honestly looked at me like I was an idiot when I was concerned during that really big thunderstorm that she might be scared. When Fen does the smallest thing wrong, whether you just clap your hands, snap her name, or yell “NO!”, Fen has the same reaction: “OhmygodI’msorry! HERE’S MY BELLAH! LOVEMELOVEMELOVEME!” She instantly stops what she was doing, cowers, says she sorry with those gorgeous gold eyes of hers and flops over on her back, patiently waiting for you to eviscerate her and send her off the island. She’s submissive and attention seeking, but because you get the feeling that she’s never been loved a day in her life, like there’s constantly been that Sarah McLachlan song playing in her head, and please she will love you all her days if you’ll just pat her head and make the sad, sad song go away. Fen was so happy(!) to have a family to love and to slobber all over. She would never do anything to cause us any grief! Ever!

Except then she decided that we weren’t going to take her back to the shelter or force her out the front door for anything other than a satisfying run around the neighborhood. She began to feel loved. Cherished. Necessary. Hmph. Surely if her people were spending so much dang time teaching her how to catch a ball, and bought her so many chewies and tasty bones to gnaw on, surely they were going to keep her! Why, they hadn’t done anything more than banish her to the backyard or her crate when she’d peed on the carpet or tasted (just tasting! she swears!) that shoe! And so Fen started to chew on things. Wrappers. Trash. Fuzzy things on the carpet. And then Saturday night it was Legos – we now have some “special” pieces – and then when she  got out of time out for that, she immediately started in on a poor, helpless Polly Pocket.

Bee wasn’t even all that annoyed about her “Holly” Pocket (as she calls her). “It’s just like Soul Surfer, Mom!” she happily proclaimed, after begging me to keep the amputee. “Except she doesn’t have legs. But you don’t need those to dress her up, Mom.” Fen thumped her tail a few times from doggy prison, as if to say, “See? ‘S all good. Bee doesn’t think I’m rotten.” Gracie was a little less forgiving when she caught Fen up on the end table, actively destroying her Lego tree house to look for more tasty…um…plastic?

I have got to figure out what exercise or stimulation my puppy needs, or vitamins Fen is missing in her diet and fill up on whatever playtoy she feels she’s lacking because good god – she’s not just manipulating the kids into picking up their toys off the floor and hoovering up the crap off the floor that I didn’t want there in the first place. Now she’s seeking out things on shelves and things that qualify at Casa de Katie as “put away.” Someone teach the dog that, quick, before I lose my mind!

I’m glad my sweet, submissive, loving puppy is feeling more comfortable here at home, but ease up, Mr. Biteypants. Please?

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2 Responses to “Someone’s feeling a little more comfortable.”

  1. Agent Torklepants Says:

    It’snotfunnyitsnitfunnyitsnotfunny Im crying from laughing Katie!”make the sad lady stop singin!” Lmao

  2. Kathy Says:

    Uh oh! Have you tried bitter apple when she chews things she shouldn’t.

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