My daughters are pretty great people. Even if I do say so myself. But even with all their greatness, they are still eight and still six. They need a lot of parenting is my point. Sometimes that parenting takes the form of reminder after reminder after reminder. I don’t mind that so much. Because they’re eight and six and I love them and it’s sort of my job.
Sometimes parenting means teaching them the hard way.
Last night when I picked up the Bee-girl from daycare, I saw her hoodie hanging out of her backpack, but I didn’t see her jacket. (Don’t you LOVE when the day starts out at 32° and ends at 68°? ME TOO!! Snort:lie) Rather than assume or hope or whatever-you-wanna-call-it that her jacket was stuffed into her backpack, I asked if she had it. I got that blank look that only a six-year-old can deliver, and then Bee turned on her heels and walked into her classroom to get it. Rinse, lather, and repeat and you have just about every at pick-up time. Bee came back – with her jacket – and off we went to get her sister.
When Gracie separated herself from her afterschool friends and walked over to us, I noticed her backpack looked suspiciously flat. “Do you have your jacket?” I asked. She assured me she did. I ignored Bee, who was pulling on my arm and asking to use the bathroom, and asked Gracie, “Are you sure?” Annoyed, she shot back and emphatic YES! “Your sweatshirt and your jacket?” Because that backpack was f-l-a-t, yo. Booya – Gracie’s face fell. “Not my puffy jacket.” She had forgotten it in her classroom and her classroom had long since been locked. Of course.
Which brings me to my parenting dilemma: Gracie doesn’t have a second winter jacket. Neither of them do. So I told Gracie she was going to be cold this morning and let her go without. Even though it was 39° out when we left.
In my defense, there wasn’t a lot I could do. I’m not shelling out another $50 to have a back-up jacket sitting mostly unused in order to support my children’s forgetfulness. It would be lovely if I could afford beautiful woolen peacoats for the girls to wear to church and when they’re dressed up; they could serve as winter-wear when their “play” jackets were forgotten. But I don’t have that kind of money. And I’m not crazy about the message it sends to the girls, either: It doesn’t matter if you remember your coat or not, because there’s another one at home!
I hated sending Gracie into the cold this morning, but it was a short run from the street and into her dad’s house and it will be even shorter from his car into the school. Where she’ll find her best friend, Winter Jacket, waiting for her to wear to recess. (And hopefully home, too.) It’s not like she was walking to school. And maybe the cold air this morning will help jog her memory when she’s running around getting her things together from now on.
Then again, maybe not. She’s eight, after all.
Can't Get There From Here 
November 15, 2012 at 8:39 am |
One day won’t kill her. I think you did the right thing.
My son is always forgetting or losing stuff. I think they should name the lost and found after him.
November 15, 2012 at 9:25 am |
I think you were right on the money. One of mine always forgot their lunch box but HATED getting hot lunch. No lunch box = hot lunch. That was after I replaced two of them; I am a slow learner. 🙂
And, I can still remember putting one of the kids in the car sans warm winter coat when it was about 5 degrees because thye just wouldn’t put it on. They were hualed outside kicking and screaming; they finally realized how cold it was. I don’t think I ever had that problem again.
November 15, 2012 at 1:07 pm |
Yeah you know what happen if they had a second.jacket? They would wear it and never remember to bring the other one.home because they were already wearing one. And then they would have to carry it… and its so puffy and they have to carry their backpacks too…so it can just stay in the locker until its easier to carry :0) I know this because I had two sweaters left at work all summer lol