Where’s the hidden easy button?

When I picked up the munchkins from their dad’s for the weekend, they had some demands. Bee wanted to watch “that movie, Mom, where they’re looking at pictures? And then they go in them? And they have no mommy.” Umm…okay. As soon as I figured that one out, we could do that. Bee wanted me to put her training wheels on the new bike she got for her birthday so they could ride bikes, which Gracie thought was a thumpin’ good idea. And Bee also wanted to go to “that library, Mom, with all the computers.” Very specific, Miss Bee was, with all of her (ahem) suggestions.

Well. It’s July and I haven’t been able to see the girls very often. Let’s see what I could do.

Friday night is movie night at our house. I finally decoded Bee’s cryptic movie summary and, after my first guess of Hook was rejected, I correctly identified her choice as Bedknobs and Broomsticks. A movie, I might add, that until recently the girls were not in love with. So I settled the girls down with pizza and their movie and I checked the first demand off our list. Other than the fact that the girls were up and down and generally kept popping out of bed until 10 o’clock, Friday night was pretty easy. Score.

Saturday I had hoped the girls would sleep in – did you read that outrageously late (for them) bedtime? – but no such luck. At 8:00, Gracie promptly bounced on the bed. “It’s8o’clockandwe’realreadydressedcanwehavebreakfastandridebikesnow?” I think they were excited. So the girls ate waffles and watched The Muppets make the world a better place while I drank coffee and summoned the courage the face the day. It was supposed to be 108° – without the heat index – so I decided we should bike first thing while it was only 90° outside. At 10 a.m. Oof. So on went the training wheels and outside we went. The girls biked up and down the sidewalk and after briefly trying to teach them (again) how to balance so they could ride without training wheels, I gave up and let them bike and scoot and play with their dolls while I broke down the 1,001 cardboard boxes from IKEA that were still in the garage. Then, for good measure, I used the hedge clippers that are roughly the size of my children to hack a path back through the overgrown hedges so I could once again reach the water faucet. While we were eating popsicles and contemplating picking up our mess and packing it in, Gracie asked if we could go for ice cream. Why not? Everyone had been pretty good. And since it was eleventy million degrees, no one complained when I declared our bike adventure completed and checked that off the list.

I made the girls suffer through a grocery store run before we went for ice cream for the simple reason that I didn’t want to give up such a wonderful bribe for good behavior. It worked like a charm and soon we were on our way to the fancy ice cream store. Gracie got her usual mint ice cream with gummy bears mixed in (blech!) and Bee predictably chose chocolate ice cream with chocolate chips mixed in. I got a giant vat of sweet cream ice cream and tried not to roll around in it. Mmmm…ice cream. Tastiest chore ever.

After we had scrubbed alllll the ice cream from Bee’s face, we scooted over a few streets, waited for the world’s longest train to go by, and finally stopped at the library. Bee looked up a thousand million books on the computerized card catalogue, Gracie got books on dogs, the titanic, a children’s book on what parents do when their children aren’t home that was way too easy for her but gave her the giggles, and – are you ready for this? – a graphic novel featuring Nancy Drew. !! I know! Nancy Drew in comic book form! How many didn’t flavors of weird is that? If you’re not weirded out, it’s because you didn’t see Angry!NancyDrew drawings. With massive eyebrows. Hmph. Besides that, the girls were happy, I was happy because I finally convinced the librarians to reissue the girls library cards for free since the divorce decree proves they live in that town part-time, and we had lots of new books to read. And NO ONE whined. Check!

Sunday was a blur of children’s church, the girls helped me clean, and then they played Legos and Polly Pockets until it was time to go. I barely knew I had children, they were so quiet and compliant. I have no idea when I hit the easy button on Friday, but man I wish I knew where it was for future use…

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One Response to “Where’s the hidden easy button?”

  1. Agent Torklepants Says:

    YAY NEW BLOG!!! 🙂
    I would booo the mentioning of ice cream but I have yummyummydelicious.mint.brownies.from erin. They’re like those ones from Trish!!!

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