Like a ride at Disneyworld.

I haven’t been all bloggy-bloggy about it (for once), but my back has been bothering me for a few weeks now. The pain level pinged OOCH! enough on the pain-o-meter that I thought it might be a kidney stone, especially given my history and ensuing paranoia, so I thought I better go in for x-rays.

The good news: no stone. The rest of the news: who the heck knows why I’m in pain! Goodtimes.

So, in the course of letting everyone poke and prod me, all the doctors decided the next step would be a CT scan. Which is great if it spits out a little tickertape with answers at the end, but… here is where I tell you I am extremely claustrophobic. Like, I almost threw up during my c-sections because the drape was too close to my face, kinda claustrophobic. [Sidebar: Whyyyyy don’t they warn you that the drape is only about six inches away from your face before you go in? Stupid television setting up unrealistic expectations. Grumble grumble mcgrumbly.]  When I confirmed that the CT scan was the one in which they load you into a tube headfirst? Yeah, not so good.

As I booked my appointment (hey! they had an opening in a few hours!), I tried to remember every CT scan I had seen in Grey’s Anatomy. I remembered how even when the machine caught fire, the dude was okay. And then there was that one time the guy was stuck in there for 45 minutes. But every other time, the patient was fine. I would just close my eyes before I went in, and not open them for any reason until I got out. Oh plans and their illusions and control.

So I get to the facility, not having eaten anything all day. (While booking the appointment, the nurse says to me: “Don’t eat anything else or drink anything, either.” Me: “Don’t worry, I’d just hurl it all up anyway.” Nurse: “Oooookay.”) I sign in and read some more Silence of the Lambs to calm myself down. I don’t even want to know what my blood pressure was when I was called back to the CT room.

It was a frickin’ open CT scan. A big doughnut. You think someone might have mentioned that!! All that worrying for nothing. Oh, sure, I tried closing my eyes for a minute when I was lying down on the moving table thingy, but that made me dizzy. So I kept my eyes open as I moved in and out of the magic doughnut. My favorite part was watching that spinny thing inside. It was totally like those spinny things Jodie Foster flew through in Contact. Heh. That was even cooler than being out of there in under ten minutes from the time I signed in. For the win!

And possibly even better than that, I know I have answers coming on Tuesday. Even if we don’t know what it is, we might know what it isn’t. Until then, pass the eggnog and turn up the Christmas music. Nothing helps you ignore back pain like getting ready for Christmas!


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2 Responses to “Like a ride at Disneyworld.”

  1. Leandra Says:

    Wishing you positive results!

  2. Kathy Says:

    Glad it isn’t another stone, but I hate not knowing what is going on. Here’s to good news on Tuesday. And yes, pass the eggnog, it is needed here too.

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