Looks I’m going to have to open a sweatshop. Anyone want a job?

Do you know what I did this weekend? I shopped. I shopped this weekend in stores and I shopped this weekend online. Which isn’t really different from the last few weeks when I have been haunting various online locations, looking for what should be two sodding easy items to find: white long-sleeved polos (that do not cost more than an arm or one leg) and red cardigan sweaters to go with the girls’ Christmas outfits. People – they are not to be found.

When a major metropolitan area has had a school uniform policy in place for over five years, you wouldn’t think it would be so hard to find long sleeve shirts in accordance with said policy. Gracie’s shirts from last year still fit – barely. But if the girl so much as grows another half inch, Houston we might have a problem. So I’ve been searching in all of the usual places for long-sleeved polos to put under the Christmas tree. Probably not what Gracie’s looking for from Santa, but it’s something she needs, it’s something that can wait until after Christmas, and why not pass it off as a present if I have to buy it? There will be plenty of other fun ones to cheer her up.

Where was I? Oh yes. So I looked at Target – no school uniform clothes in the store. At all. Which I think is ridiculous considering their big community involvement project is that a certain percentage of Target credit card sales go towards local schools. So I checked online – they had short-sleeved shirts and pants and skirts, but absolutely no long-sleeved shirts. I checked Old Navy and they were ridiculously priced. Kohl’s wanted $15 a jersey, and I haven’t been able to find them anywhere else.

I finally saw some online at Walmart, so I decided things had reached critical mass: I was gonna have to walk into the actual store. I decided to go early Sunday morning, when everyone is usually either in church or sleeping. And I found some – if my child is the jolly green giant. I tell you what, I don’t know what’s gotten into George (the uniform shirt company, not some random dude), but they must think every child is either part Gumby or a center forward for the Celtics. Bee’s uniform shirts that I bought for Gracie two years ago? Made by George and have normal proportions. The uniform shirts in the store? Are designed to cover the bums of every hoodlum who wears his or her jeans belted around their knees. I AM NOT EVEN KIDDING! So: hilarious universe watching me trying to clothe my child: 6. Me: 0.

And then there is sudden shortage of red cardigan sweaters. I tried Target and Target.com: nothing. I tried Old Navy on Saturday. I found four sweaters and a pair of corduroys for me (and maybe some Christmas presents for the wee little ones), but the only red cardigan they had tacky faded red bows on all the buttons. No way my 7 1/2 year old is going to want to wear that. (Thank. God.) Children’s Place, Justice, Gymboree, Gap Kids…. nothing. Then I tried the department stores: J.C. Penney, Macy’s, Sears… OH! SEARS HAS ONE! It’s nothing fancy, just a plain, simple red button-up cardigan. Whatevs – Christmas portraits are Saturday – I’ll take it! So I drove out to Sears (what – you thought I was actually at all of those stores when I could online browse? You so silly!)….and Sears wasn’t open for another hour. What kind of department store doesn’t open before noon during Christmas shopping season?! Jesus wept. And so did I.

So! Now I have plans to force feed my childrens chicken nuggets as quickly as they can eat them and whip on out to Sears tonight. As for school uniforms…either belly shirts are going to soon become quite appropriate, or else Imma have to open a sweatshop in the back yard. Just doing my own little part to help the economy, you understand.


Tags: , , , ,

3 Responses to “Looks I’m going to have to open a sweatshop. Anyone want a job?”

  1. Kathy Says:

    Perhaps my wish of my children being required to wear uniforms should continue to go unfulfilled. Good luck!

  2. margie Says:

    you makin fun of gumby?? you know how i love me a gumby.

  3. burghbaby Says:

    Psst…Gap, 77kids, and Justice for uniform stuff (online only–stores don’t have a darn thing anymore). Most of it is on clearance so it’s cheaper with them than it ever was at Target.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: