There was something about a survey…

First of all, I think it is hilarious that I am even trying to write a post for you. It’s Friday, ThePlaceThatShallNotBeNamed has been invaded by important peoples running amok all week so I am just Frazzled, my friends dragged me out last night to make me have fun damnit(!), and…let’s just say I’m still feelin’ the fun, mkay? I’m still feelin’ the fun and I just heard people who don’t exist at the place I’m not at yell from the next room over that they have a few hoops for me to jump through with a very short deadline. You know – at this place that doesn’t exist.

Oh! And hey! My coffeepot broke this morning (mayhap because someone forgot to clean it this week), and so I had to unclog steaming hot grounds from all the stickity-stuck places, re-brew the coffee, and we all got out the door 15 minutes late. And now my coffee still tastes suspiciously weak.

But! Before all of that! I was going to tell you about this survey that one of my Altos forwarded around that tells you what kind of American you speak. (Here: Go take it.)  It was a fun five-minute diversion for me yesterday…right up until the part where it told me I wasn’t really a Yankee. Then I flipped it the finger and told it to go screw itself. Okay, not really. (I did glare at it, though. Very hard. There might have even been death rays shooting out of my eyes.)

Apparently, I speak 50% General American English, 35% Yankee, 10% Upper Midwestern, 5% Dixie, and 0% Midwestern.  And while I’m in a way not so surprised – my Yankeeisms weren’t that pronounced even when I was living at home – a very big part of me takes issue with the survey itself. I mean – how am I supposed to test Yankee if you don’t give the right answers? Question #6 asks what you drink out of, but only lets you choose between a drinking fountain and a water fountain when the answer is CLEARLY the bubblah bubbler. [I gave someone directions in our building once by telling him to take a left at the bubbler, then stopped and corrected myself. Another guy who was standing in the area stopped mid-sentence, turned around, and asked where I was from. Turns out, he grew up 30 minutes from where I lived.] There is also a glaring lack of questions about what type of sandwiches you eat: hoagies, subs, grinders, or…um…whatever the heck other people call them. (The right answer here is grinder, ftw.) My sister wanted them to throw ‘tonic’ in as an answer to what you call sweetened, carbonated beverages. And, well, then we got sidetracked with a delightful debate over whether jimmies vs. sprinkles depended on coloring, flavor, and shape. (It doesn’t. They are always jimmies, yo.)

But the real point here is that it’s Friday. You probably need a five-minute distraction to help you through your day. Take the survey and tell me what else they missed. Pointers on how I can be a better Yankee earns you extra points. Annnnd GO!

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5 Responses to “There was something about a survey…”

  1. Shayne Says:

    On the first day of class, I tell my students that my office door is the one to the left of the bubbler and ask if anyone can explain what that term means (usually only about one hand goes up). Then, it ends up as a bonus question on their first quiz 🙂

  2. Gayle Says:

    Thanks for the fun! I got 55% General American, 35% Yankee, 10% Dixie! Dixie?! How’d I get that? Oh, and I’m from NY and we call those sandwiches a “wedge”! Are jimmies Yankee? I had never heard that term until I was in my 20’s and a guy I worked with used it.

    I hope this Friday the 13th turns out to be good luck for you!

  3. Agent torklepants Says:

    They also missed purse vs. Pocketbook. Apparently pocketbook is a Yankee/NE/Boston thing.

  4. Kathy Says:

    Funny! I thought I would be more upper midwestern. I guess living in other areas over time changed my dialect. 65% General American English, 25% Upper Midwestern, 5% Dixie, 5% Yankee, 0% Midwestern .

    Glad someone made you go out and have fun!

  5. Mary Says:

    I had to take the quiz because CH accuses me of not being Southern! Here’s what I got:
    50% standard (must be because of my profession!)
    45% Dixie (See, I AM southern!)
    5% upper midwestern (where did that come from? My parents are Texan!)
    I’ve never heard of a “bubbler”!

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