And now, the rest of the story.

Wow, write a story about a 1st-grade gym delinquent and everyone pops out of the woodwork! It’s lovely when everyone cares and I’m very happy to report that it appears – for now at least – like my daughter will be allowed to graduate to 2nd grade, despite rumors to the contrary. Wanna know why? Because letters that say your child is failing gym do not, in fact, mean your child is failing. Um, yeah. That’s pretty much the face that I made, too.

If you remember our saga, when last I left it I had signed the letter alerting me to the fact that Gracie was failing gym due to (please check all that apply): classwork, wasting time in class, and consistently behaving at unacceptable levels. I very clearly asked her gym teacher to please call me because I was very concerned. Any good mama would be, right? I also emailed my comrade-in-arms (and possible future BFF), Gracie’s “regular” teacher to see if she knew what was up. Not only did Ms. N. assure me that Gracie was as well-behaved as usual, she would talk to the gym teacher on the sly and see what was up. I felt marginally better, but wanted to talk to Mr. Coach so I could put this all behind me and move on to wrecking my children’s lives in other ways. You know – for fun.

Friday went by – no call from Coach. I had left a phone message that morning in addition to the note, so I was a little surprised. But whatevs – I’m sure he had an influx of calls from overly-agitated concerned parents. Monday went by without a call, too, and that just wasn’t right. You cannot send a letter home telling a parent that their child is failing and ignore the resulting calls and returned slips asking for a call! That’s just rude.

And yet, I was undeterred. I called and had a – surprisingly – very pleasant talk with Mr. Coach. He apologized for the letter and said that Gracie wasn’t actually failing, it’s just that she had two marks in a very short period of time. I think I blinked rather rapidly at that point while I tried to figure out how to ask why he said she was failing if she wasn’t. And, um, I never came up with an answer for that one, so I blinked some more. Luckily, the coach didn’t notice and told me that Gracie’s marks were for wasting time in class (which is sorta like my girl-child who is equipped with one speed only – deathlyslow), and one for a dress code violation. Since I send Gracie to school in school uniform and the same sneakers every single blessed day, I was confused. So was Coach, but I didn’t press him on the issue. Hey – my baby ain’t failing and she’s got the same guy for her gym teacher for four more years! YOU ruffle his feathers if you want, but not me, uh uh!

I was amused, however, that the Coach mentioned three times that he was divorced after I had mentioned that Gracie spends every school night at my house, so it wasn’t like the Ex had sent her to school with boots on. But I’m sure that was just my (charming) way of reading in to every little thing. Surely he wasn’t fishing in a convo with a student’s parent. That would just be…weird, right?  

I let it slide, though, and assured him that I would be closely monitoring Gracie’s participation in gym and asked him to let me know how she did. I told him I wouldn’t need weekly assessments any more (as I had requested in my letter), given that she wasn’t actually misbehaving like he said in his letter. (!!) I am really hoping that this batch of letters was the exception and not the rule, given that the Coach’s workload has tripled from what it’s supposed to be, but I kinda doubt it. There are 80 kids in each class and the Coach even told me he didn’t know who my daughter was. He rushed to tell me that was a good thing, though – that if he didn’t know who she was immediately, I didn’t have anything to worry about.

Yeah, didn’t make me feel better.

But at least Mr. Coach knows who I am now. Maybe he’ll be less likely to call Gracie out if he knows he’s going to have a determined mama sending in letters and phone messages each and every time he sends home a probably-mistaken-in-some-way letter. Because the next time the letter comes back with random reasons checked off, I’m going to the PTA and/or the office instead of just canceling Gracie’s punishments. After all, it’s hard to teach your children to respect their teachers and listen to what they have to say when you can’t trust what it is those teachers are telling you.

And that, my friends, was the end of our gym drama. Privileges and smiles have been restored and all is well at Casa de Katie once more. (At least for the next five minutes.)

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5 Responses to “And now, the rest of the story.”

  1. Kathy Says:

    So, is the gym teacher cute? Now that we know Gracie isn’t in trouble.

  2. NewDirectionsInitiative Says:

    You crack me up. Is he one of those polyester shorts wearing gym teachers? That or track suit…

  3. Karyn Says:

    the newdirections thing was actually me. I forgot to log out of another account. whoops!

  4. Crisanna Says:

    My theory? Your new BFF knows Mr. Coach is also single and is somehow to blame for the whole conspired, fake disciplinary mess. I’d keep an eye on that one – teachers are sneaky. Unless Mr. Coach is hotttt….then I’d keep an eye (or both) on him.

  5. Puna Says:

    Somehow I don’t think this will be the end of it. Not until you go on a date with the gym teacher:)

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