How to train your kids. Oops, I mean your puppy.

From Gracie’s backpack:

In case you can’t read it, it says: How to train your puppy.

First, Let your puppy get to know you. Let him smell your hand. [Picture of Giraffe/dog hybrid saying "sniff sniff..." Aw, a love of ellipses!]

Then, do not yell at him when you say no you might sacre [sic] him or her say “no” firmly deep. [Uh...do not psychoanalyze this panel. It's just that's she's brillaint. Ahem. Instead look at the pictures! The yelling picture has exclamation points - excellent use of punctuation again! That picture also has a pointy finger on the girl(?). I also love her use of "him or her" - well, the second time at least.]

Finally after your puppy these steps give him or her a reward as a treat. [Possibly my favorite panel: Notice the dog's mouth wiiiiide open as it eats the spectacularly drawn biscuit. Priceless. True story: both Gracie and Bee's mouths unhinge like that for chocolate after they've done something right. Er....not for rewards per se...we call them "snacks." Or something.]

A few Friday thoughts.

I am off getting my insides x-rayed at the moment, so I thought I’d leave you with just a few Friday thoughts:

1. FOOTBALL!!! How I’ve missed you.

2. Kids! They slay me. Look at the picture Gracie brought home from school:

Can you read what she wrote? “Dad.” “Prisobol” which is Gracie-phonetics for Principal. And my personal favorite: “PoPo.” Seriously! PoPo. No, I do not use that slang word. I mean, perhaps from time to time when I’m joking with my friends, but never so that it would happen in front of her! No, I’m afraid that gem came from her fellow gang members up at school. Ah, public education. I asked Gracie what was going on and she said she was supposed to draw a picture of who was in charge of the house, the school, and the community. So. At least she knows who to yell is coming as she hides her boyfriend, her spit balls, and her bong. I guess I’ll celebrate the fact that her picture people are all smiling – when they scowl, I’ll start to worry.

Have a good weekend, folks! I hope you avoid trouble from any and all of these fine authority figures.