I am Batman.

How I know I have the flu:

• I spelled flu “flue”
• It took me ten minutes to wobble and weave my way into the computer room
• I had a fever of 100.1 this morning – and I usually run at 96/97.
• I watched Big Bang last night for two hours before bed without laughing (and it’s the really good Season 2 stuff)
• My skin hurts when you touch it
• I have no idea how I’m driving myself to the doctor’s at noon when I can barely operate my text thingy
• I had zero interest in coffee, other than it was warm
• I made myself a cuppa tea…and while my sisters and my mom will be happy to know that while I did in fact remember the tea bag, well, I sort of forgot to put any water in the cup the first time around
• And then there’s the all-comforting factor that I sound just like Bee did five days ago
• I didn’t even care that I had to call and tell the Ex that I had flu and tell him I had the flu and could he bring the signed interrogatories for my deposition to his lawyer…I mean, I really, really hope the Ex doesn’t get the flu, but I didn’t feel like a kid getting called to the principal’s office when I called. Or, um, something.
• I can’t focus enough to read my book
• I do, however, have a desire to read comfort books like Homecoming or Mrs. Mike or a good ol’ Stephen King. Crap. Except maybe not The Stand.

How I know I’m not dying yet:

• I felt bad about calling out sick even know work would take one look at me and not let me out of my car
• (Golly, there were more point here a second ago)
• I was still annoyed at my sisters for not answering my texts >:-(  (That katie-face took a lot of energy, you guys.)
• I still made a list of recommendations for my sisters per Kim’s suggestion to keep myself entertained yesterday
• I thought that since when Bee was diagnosed on Monday and I thought that a manageable flu-bug was a fair-trade for the Patriots win on Sunday (I know: I’m a bad mama going to hell), it would be okay with me if me having the flu means the Pats win on this Sunday.
• I remembered the code for that little degree mark down there. See?

And this is me with just a 100° temp. Imagine while I’ll be like if mine gets to 102 like Bee’s? Because I’m still kinda lucid but not really in a helpful way. Like, I have a funny taste in my mouth. And I wonder if that’s what Sheldon felt like after Walowitz put his mom’s Valium in Sheldon’s milk. And then I wonder if this is what Marika felt like when her fever made her all woo-woo when she have The Fevers in White Mary.

In closing: you guys better check in on me later or I’m going to be a very disappointed muppet. In real life. Okay: semi-real life. Because whoa.

 

Tags: flu