Maybe you’ve heard – there was this teeny, tiny disagreement going on between NFL players and owners. (Admit it: how many of us had bets on whether the NFL contract or a Congressional debt solution would be settled first?) But! As Goodell (and everyone else) has exclaimed, football is back baby! Now there is just the little matter of resigning 450 free agents. In one week.
Do you have any idea how insane yesterday was?
I was glued to Twitter. NFl.com. Jason LaConfera’s blog. Team rosters (why, oh why, are you using last year’s depth charts still?!). I asked passersby in the hallways (even though I knew they had no idea…but what if they surprised me?). That’s how I heard about Dallas releasing Marion Barber and Roy Williams (…and why I started chortling when I couldn’t find Romo on the depth chart. Stupid outdated depth chart. But hey! Do you remember how last season went?!). The quarterback carousel started spinning madly. Hasselback went to the Titans (which, after last year’s mess with Vince Young and Jeff Fisher, is actually a smart move). The Kolb rumors wouldn’t die, but no one would confirm Arizona. I kept waiting for Plaxico to pop up in Philly – for no other reason than that’s where I want him, you understand. Then I heard rumors – or, jokes rather – about Favre coming back to lend a hand in Philly. WTF?! DO NOT TEMPT HIM, Jokesters. I will not find it funny. Jacoby Jones settled with Houston. (Hey, did everyone remember that Wade Phillips signed on with Houston? I’ve missed you, NFL.) Then I’d get pics of my Pats drilling and Mr. Wes Welker eating lunch and I’d get distracted for a moment. Oh! Hey! Free agency! Santonio re-signed with the Jets. And MAN are they hot on Nnamdi. And maybe Moss?! Please God Please God Please God no nottheJets. ANY team but the Jets! Some big name O-liners started entering the fray and I started wondering how the heck I’m going to keep any storylines straight this year. It came out that Santonio took less money to stay with the Jets and Sanchez started offering some of his salary to sign Nnamdi and I had another heart attack and remembered how Brady did the same thing several years ago, and where the hell is your leadership, Mr. Peyton Manning? But go ahead and drain your team resources, please. Orton was dealt to the squishy Fishies, making me feel brilliant for calling that shot earlier this postseason. Sources announced Kolb would be in Arizona by Friday (have I already mentioned that?). Gallery followed the big slug Tom Cable to the Seahawks, who seemed completely happy to wither away in mediocrity. Then, another shocker – Shockey to Carolina. Seriously? The Panthers?! Plax appeared to be flying to New York, New York to sit with – Tom Coughlin?! Really?? At which point my brother and I had an extensive discussion on the merrits of Plax and when he last was productive. (Hey, does anyone remember how he lit up the Steelers playing opposite Hines Ward, or the giant fit he through in the offense, which made the Giants re-sign him…and then he shot himself? Short refresher.) At some point in there, the remaining QB dominoes started falling – McNabb went to Minnesota (a good move), Tavaris Jackson went to Seattle (see earlier comment re: mediocrity), and Vince Young went…um, no where that I know of yet. Traitor Vinatieri re-signed with the Colts, Quentin Mikell left the Eagles for the Rams (I think? it’s all so fuzzy now), and I remained happy with my Pats who were, you know, just practicing and getting down to business. Oh! And I was still stroking out over the Nnamdi and Moss situ.
Take out alllll the spaces in between all of that block text, through in lots of excitement, Ohmygods! and You’ve got to be KIDDING ME!s, and lots of other deals and conjecture that I left out, and you’ve pretty much got my day yesterday. My poor brother – I chatted with him for six hours back and forth. At one point, he told me he was stepping away from the computer, but I should feel free to keep on texting him. And I did!
And then I went and had withdrawal all night while I attended to the rest of my life. And wondered what I was missing. And about dropped dead this when I saw that NEW-FRICKIN-ENGLAND had picked up Haynesworth. I’m afraid to check the rest of the headlines.
Someone bring me a damp towel and a Yoohoo.
Tags: football, free agency
July 28, 2011 at 8:09 am |
You might have a problem. A football problem.
July 28, 2011 at 8:24 am |
You sound like Uncle Timmy when you talk football. Am hearing your impressions of his “OhmyGODs” as I read
July 28, 2011 at 12:29 pm |
Ditto Burghbaby – though maybe it isn’t a problem – more of an obsession.