CrazySweet, neurotic, and over.

I had a funny recap of Gracie’s sleepover party all ready in my head – written in between madcap moments during the party – but having come out the other side, now I find the words have…disappeared. Oh, the party was still a success. Gracie is still floating off the ground with newfound status as One Who Holds Sleepovers. Rather, it’s me who is left unsure of what just happened.

In my first post, the one I created in my head, I had a dozen or so humorous moments twisted together: how I cowered tactfully stayed out of sight in my bedroom with my laptop and a book while the girls destroyed played in the big room; how I mistakenly ignored the loud declaration that someone had a Great! Idea!…and found all twenty of the helium balloons had been cut from their strings and were floating on the ceiling; how one friend asked to call her mom to get her at 9pm, only to ask her mom when she got here to go home and bring her sleeping bag, and then change her mind again and ask to go home; how I almost list the birthday cake (and the counter) on fire with re-igniting sparkler candles that really seemed like a good idea at the time. Yes, I had lots of funny stories drafted for you. But now that it’s time to write them all out for reals, I feel sad and nostalgic, like it a bittersweet crazy-fun-neurotic milestone has passed me by forever and goodness gracious – I want it back.

Gracie’s first sleepover is over. Done. A milestone reached. My oldest daughter navigated her way through yet another milestone and now, 24 hours later, instead of glorying in being rid of the giggling masses with my wits intact, I’m wishing the battle was still in front of us. Gracie handled herself with such aplomb, reminding her friends of the rules (no playing in mom’s bedroom, no going in the guest/craft room, no opening the doors in the morning when the house alarm is on) and making sure that her sister was allowed to partake in the fun. I was so proud of how mature she acted. Sure, she fed off of her rambunctious friends’ antics and I had to remind them all to play Dead Puppy or Horse Races a little more quietly, but for the most part, I didn’t have to intercede. Gracie ran the show in such a way that I just needed to check in every once in awhile.

I hope when Gracie grows older and sleepovers become the norm instead of a treat, when she’s hosting her daughter’s first sleepover, that she remembers. I can’t remember my first “girls only” slumber party, but I do remember it took me forever to make it through the night on my own at my cousin’s or even my Gram’s. The problem there was that when I stayed at my cousin Hoot’s house, he would scare the crap out of me, telling me that Dracula lived on the second floor and would walk through his room every night when he descended to hunt the night, or making spooky sounds, or grabbing my foot during the night and trying to make me scream. Yeah, I much preferred having a friend over at my house – is it any wonder?

When I did graduate to group sleepovers, I wondered what the heck I had been so scared of. We tried to scare ourselves, watching Jaws marathons at Jenny’s house and scaring ourselves so badly when the lights went out that we had to run through the house to the bakery where her dad worked. (Fresh donuts at midnight fix everything, it turns out.) We giggled over boys, made prank calls, and a pair of us, inevitably, stayed up until the wee hours of the morning, bonding over secrets that could never come out in front of so many friends together. The six of us girls who grew up together became tighter with every sleepover. And now Gracie is stepping into that territory, navigating her way through middle childhood. I don’t know why, but it feels certain that this sleepover marked the beginning of her journey.

That’s the bitter part of this sweet: she did remarkably well. I wasn’t called to intercede. Friends didn’t squabble. There was no drama. I wasn’t needed, other than to serve the cake and snap pictures during presents. Oh, and to change the movies and start the wii, but only because those are just out of reach. (Maybe I should put more things out of reach so I’m needed a little bit longer?) An entire day’s worth of experiences happened with me no only on the fringes, but out of the loop entirely and the further Gracie movies through Middle Childhood, the more that will become the rule instead of a singular example. I have to remember that this is the way it’s supposed to be. So many happy memories (and teary ones, too) happened for me and it’s wonderful that my daughter is going to laugh and discover and good lord CHAT and CHAT and CHAT as much as I did.

So yes, to answer everyone’s questions: we survived the sleepover. So far. Now we’re off along a yellow-brick road of all new adventures.

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Tags: birthday parties, birthdays, growing up, parenting, sleepovers