July is always a complicated month for me. It’s the time when the girls spend an extended visitation with their dad, which means basically that we flip flop our schedules of who has who when. I have the girls every other weekend, as always, and I get to see them for dinner two nights a week, but other than that – they’re at their dad’s house. No little kids for me to tuck in at night. No whiney faces to drag out of bed in the morning. It’s calm and quiet and…disturbingly still…at my house during July.
On one hand, I LOVE the freedom I enjoy during July. I like being able to go out at night to catch a movie or meet for happy hour or do whatever I need to do without watching the clock to make sure I’m home in time to meet the children. I love the quiet! During the really difficult times, I actually count down the days until July. When one kid is screaming because she doesn’t want waffles and the other is crying because no, she is NOT tired!, it’s hard to imagine that the break from day-to-day parenting could be anything less than blissful. And most of the time, it is blissful. It’s divine. It’s peaceful.
But then, the quiet sinks all the way into my bones and I miss the chaos. I miss the noise. I miss the laughter I would have heard just as often as the whining (even if that’s not how it seems in realtime). I miss just having Gracie and Bee around. As much as I enjoy being Katie for a month instead of Mom, my daughters are what make my world spin around.
Tonight is the last night of July visitation. Tomorrow I pick them up for my weekend and the clock will strike midnight while they’re home. Everyone will turn back into pumpkins, mice, and cinder-girls and all will be well. Part of me already misses uninterrupted time to myself…but I am ready to be Mom again. I know I love myself enough to make the most of my time away, and I love my girls enough to be impatient to get my brood back into the nest and into our routine again. Isn’t it lovely that we have so many chances throughout the year to feel like we’re starting fresh? Happy Love Thursday, everyone.
Tags: custody, divorce, Love Thursday, parenting, visitation
July 29, 2010 at 8:10 am |
Beautifully put. That is exactly how I feel. Enjoy your last night and the joy that will come with tomorrow.
July 29, 2010 at 11:40 am |
You know I have Dylan with me all the time, being a homeschooler, and all…but while we were in Kentucky, I almost two weeks straight at a friends house, and I can relate to this. I missed him so much. The first couple of days were nice, but after that, I noticed his absence more…
Glad your girls are back!
July 29, 2010 at 1:41 pm |
“Isn’t it lovely that we have so many chances throughout the year to feel like we’re starting fresh?”
Indeed! And I cherish every one of them. love this post. having 2 cinder-girls myself, I can relate to reveling in the chaos. nothing better than having them safe and sound under your own roof. : )
July 29, 2010 at 8:01 pm |
So perfectly said! I just love this, Katie!
July 30, 2010 at 12:10 pm |
I heart this post.
July 30, 2010 at 4:14 pm |
awww this is such a good post. and not just because its right before i get to see the cinder-girls again next week and im suuuuuuper excited!!!
July 30, 2010 at 5:33 pm |
I hope your lovlies come home soon…it’s not a sin to have some time to yourself though…
August 2, 2010 at 10:32 am |
Such a great attitude! Way to see the silver lining in both situations!
PS. Ex got the whining for a month and you can bet he heard more than once, “That’s not how Mom does it!!” Gotta love perks like that!