I wish I was kidding.

Yesterday morning, The Weather Channel woke me up at 4:21 a.m. with a text message about a Winter Weather Advisory. Oooookay, I thought. The last time that happened, it was because it started hailing during a thunderstorm. My text messages went “Severe Thunderstorm Watch, Severe Thunderstorm Warning, Winter Weather Warning, Thunderstorm Warning,” all in a row. Some crazy intern mixing up hail warnings. I knew we were supposed to get thunderstorms overnight, so I was all, Whatevs. I’m sure it’s really hail. I could even hear some plinging against the windows amongst the raindrops, but I just rolled over and went back to sleep.

Then I wondered why it was so cold when I woke up. Well, Katie, that was because it was 37 degrees. Ho-hum, no matter. It had been colder in the mornings, but warming up during the day. Except…a high of 42? What the hell? WHAT THE HELL, SPRINGTIME?! No matter. Other than giving blood, I wasn’t planning on going outside and temps were scheduled to be back to normal by Monday. It would be like it never even happened.

Except then I remembered that the batteries in both of my watches had died. So I dashed out of the house to run that quick errand and I was walking back to my car, I felt a teeeny, tiny raindrop on my hand. It was still cloudy and miserable outside, so I thought it was maybe thinking about raining. I noticed, too, that a small whitish thing floated past my peripheral vision and quickly dismissed it. It was NOT a snowflake. It was much more likely a crystalized exhaust flake from the SUV that was idling right next to me. Because it was March 20th. The END of March. A day when it does not snow back home, never mind in freaking Texas. Then I got in the car and had to turn on the wipers because something kept hitting the windshield. With a suspicious tiny little plink. Son of a bitch! It was SNOWING!

Look:

Those aren't fuzzies on my sweater. They're snowflakes. Mean, evil snowflakes.

I took more pictures, because the flakes were really coming down. Some were huge – bigger than pencil erasers. And I could still see blue sky! Oh, I was annoyed. It is time for spring. Not snow. I’m sure the weather gods thought they were rewarding me for giving blood and having such awesome veins and all, but really? SCREW YOU, spring! I want my patio weather back. Not this:

An inch of snow. An INCH.

Tags: karma, snow, Spring, weather