Kids are better than Breaking News alerts.

One of the reasons I picked (fairy) godmothers for my children is because they need someone they can always talk to. I mean, sure, they have me, but sometimes Mom just can’t cut it, even when she wants to. Apparently, yesterday morning was one of those times and I didn’t even know it.

First: a little background for those who weren’t in the loop on the 20 rounds of negotiating it took to broker a holiday child care arrangement. One small tenet of the agreement was that the Ex wanted to keep the girls this past Friday night because his girlfriend’s daughter was leaving to spend her entire Christmas break with her dad in Mississippi. I agreed, provided that he drop the girls off at our house at 9 a.m. Saturday morning. Which he did.

So, the girls and I were about to run to Target to hopefully beat some of the rush when Auntie Kim called. Gracie was talking to her and I was half listening when I heard this: “After my daddy’s birthday, he and [his girlfriend] are getting married. She will be my stepmom and [her daughter] will be my stepsister. I will have two mommies and two sisters and only one daddy.” Yeah, I was all-the-way listening by that point. Her terminology was pretty specific and new to her. My sister was apparently sussing out some more intel, trying to figure out (like I was) whether this was for real. “Yeah, he gave her a ring. Last night while we had Christmas,” Gracie continued before listing the presents she received and the people present.

So. The Ex is getting re-married.

“You didn’t know?!” my sister asked when I got back on the phone. Nope. The Ex didn’t mention it when he dropped off the girls. He didn’t send a text or an email. But the girls were so specific. Gracie talked about it all morning and even gave me a re-enactment (unsolicited) after our trip to Target. I gently corrected her once that she might have a stepmom and a stepsister, but she will always only have ONE real mom. Other than that, I tried to ignore it all.

Really, I was too busy trying to figure out what to do with the information. Should I text the Ex and tell him I heard congratulations were in order? Should I wait it out and mention that the girls had told me however long ago whenever it came up? I was still trying to decide when the issue resolved itself. This morning at around 10 a.m., the Ex texted me. “I didn’t want you to hear it through the grapevine. A and I got engaged. We’re looking towards next October.” Huh. So another big wedding. “The girls told me yesterday morning,” I replied, “complete with re-enactment. Congratulations!” That last part was kind of empty, but it seemed like the thing to say.

Know what’s funny? I thought the Ex had texted me because he finally worked up the courage. I mean – how does he not know that the girls would say something? Either he didn’t care or he doesn’t know his children at all. But when I talked to my sister again this afternoon, she said that she had Facebooked the Ex to congratulate him on his engagement. That was at about 9:30 a.m. Yes. THAT was why the Ex texted me. The grapevine he didn’t want me hearing things from? Was Kim. What. an. idiot. Or, if he waited so I would hear it from someone else, then he’s just lacking in common courtesy.

But I’m good. I’ve been listening to a lot of Rufus Wainwright and fancying myself as a Tim Burton production right now: dark, sarcastic, beautiful, outrageously witty, and brilliant. Oh, and critically acclaimed. (See? The wit.) Also, I seem to be getting a lot of trips out of this. My IO suggested taking the girls to Disney World. My sister and her Altos are either descending on Texas or else I’m traveling to Philly or the most perfect small town in New England (with my sister and her Altos). There may or may not be a secret plan to fight inflation find someone if we go to Connecticut.

At least or until the girls start calling her mom. Then all bets on my well-being are off.

Tags: children, divorce, marriage, remarriage, stepfamilies